Rethinking Our Choices:
May 15 to June 27, 2012
The planet of beauty, love and relationships goes into her rare retrograde state (approximately once every twenty months for right around the famous 40 day trial period) on 15 May in the “double your pleasure” sign of Gemini. The sign of the Twins is known for all kinds of duality, bipolarity, changeability and other mercurial tricks. It is also a sign of extreme intelligence when the higher octave of the constellation is developed. The lower level reveals more of the “all over the map” A.D.D. side of The Twins. Gemini is also known as the archetype of the Lovers in Tarot constellating life lessons around integrating the masculine and feminine sides of our psyche. So when the goddess of beauty and love expresses herself through this airy, dual and mental realm you can imagine there will be plenty of back-and-forth confusion in the relationship department while our minds attempt to sort out thoughts, notions, concepts and words that may be in complete contradiction to our heart. Good luck. Can you embrace the inherent paradox, contradiction and oppositions that your relationships bring in order to expand your consciousness and move you beyond “black and white” thinking? Gemini is about flexibility, variety and novel solutions so if you can apply these gifts of Gemini into your world of dating, mating and relating, you’ll reap the benefits of this powerful phase.
“Nothing is more exciting and bonding in relationships than creating together” — Stephen R. Covey
Expect heaps of the usual retrograde: “re” activities: re-thinking, re-vamping, re-leasing, re-doing, resting, retrospection, realization, renovation, retiring, rebooting, renewing, etc. Now apply them to the Venus areas: love, beauty, money, values, relationships, women, luxury, sweetness, and harmony.
Next apply the re-dos to the Gemini arenas: choices, thought patterns, words, speech, communication, writing, discrimination, details, duality, flexibility, variety, transmission of information, messages, logic, logos etc.
Should I Stay or Should I Go Now
Many will instantly enter into the “there goes my relationship” panic the minute you utter Venus and Retrograde in the same sentence, but think of this phase as more of a litmus test. Which relationships, contracts, associations, partnerships and investments are truly of value to you?
Those are the ones that will survive this testing phase of Venus. With Saturn also retrograding in Venus-ruled Libra; and the Sun and Jupiter in Venus-ruled Taurus the domination of Venus-ruled themes is quadrupled. Add to this the upcoming eclipse in the same sign of Venus (Gemini) and you can see that the cosmos are basically pulling out all of the big relationship guns at this time. Yep, consider this one big cosmic conspiracy to put our relationship skills in check. You can expect every fear, insecurity and projection of failure to surface (actually these fun little feelings have been getting stirred up since the shadow period in early April).
“Do not blame the circumstances and do not blame others. Remove your own weaknesses.” — Amma
This period is about revealing the ways we can harness our mental faculties, discrimination and “choice” making abilities to better cope with relationship trials and tribulations rather than run from them. If you were ever under the naive belief that relationships should be easy or they are the wrong ones, then perhaps you chose the autopilot mode for this incarnation. Or as the classic scene in Woody Allen’s iconic relationship flick, Annie Hall goes:
(Woody Allen’s character, Alvy Singer stopping a couple that looks like they have just walked right out of a Cialis commercial):
Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?
Female street stranger: Yeah.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?
Female street stranger: Uh, I’m very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Male street stranger: And I’m exactly the same way.
Alvy Singer: I see. Wow. That’s very interesting. So you’ve managed to work out something?
In fact, relationships can be our greatest mirror and tool for self-knowledge so one would expect the most valuable ones to provide their fair share of inherent challenges. The reason “choices” are so challenging during this period is that we are hyper-aware of just how many factors and details are involved in any given situation and how there are always two (often polar/contradictory) sides of our mind at work. Put seemingly insoluble relationship questions, issues and quandaries into the mix and voila, you’ve got a recipe for a good 40 days and 40 nights of insomnia ruminating over whether you should commit or quit.
“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” — Leo Buscaglia
Look to where 24 degrees Gemini or other mutable signs fall in your chart and this is where your greatest Venus challenges will arise. Are you willing to tough it out and confront your relationship differences without running, looking for the next cute distraction or taking the easy way out? Will you use your highest level of discrimination or — default to the smells like teen spirit aspect of Gemini and adopt the “here I am now, entertain me” defense? Just remember more than ever: wherever you go, wherever you run — there YOU are. We grow through challenges not short cuts. Cut yourself plenty of slack during this period because it is more challenging to feel “related” than normal. Remember it takes two and the feeling of disconnectedness is pervasive.
What are Venus Rx Challenges?
During the Venus retrograde we are really challenged to look at how much or how little we value ourselves. It is said that we train people to treat us the way we either consciously or unconsciously expect to be treated and this is based on our own feelings of self-worth. This is a time to look at what we base our own value system on in our relationship to our own self love. Where do we deprive or deny ourselves of esteem by not seeing our true worth? What do we value in ourselves and others? Where have these values come from? Are they a product of the mind or of experience? Gemini is guilty of “concept” without or prior to “experience” until the opposite sign of Sagittarius is integrated. With Gemini there is a danger of projecting some of our mental “notions” about the “other” (often an unconscious aspect within us) on to the partner. Depending on how much or how little we value ourselves will often reveal how much we are able to value our partner and our relationships. One cannot compensate for the other and the Venus Retrograde will often painfully reveal where we are trying to cover up for our own insecurities and weaknesses by playing them out in our relationship conflicts.
It’s common to feel unloved, unappreciated, undervalued or disappointed in our relationships during this time but that is often just a way to bring us back to the root of our own insecurities. Perhaps the relationship is indeed mirroring our own inability to receive or a way we undervalue ourselves. We may choose partners that keep playing this out until we realize the pattern and break it by first treating ourselves with the kind of love and respect we would wish to receive from another.
It’s true that we will be more prone to evaluating the differences in our relationships during this time when Venus is under the sign of Gemini but not to worry. This can actually be helpful if we don’t split off into “good” and “bad” or other unsophisticated mental categories. There is so much grey area and “both-and” ground that needs to be honored during this period. This is a time where we are all searching for the bridge between our inner male and female sides: like the classic image depicted in the 6th Major Arcana of the Tarot: The Lovers: (see image above): where the Archangel Gabriel is healing and blessing the union of the male and female (in Jungian psychology: the Hierogamos: God and Goddess united in the Holy Marriage).
Rx for the Venus Rx
“Only what you aren’t giving can be lacking in any situation” — A Course in Miracles
If you want to preserve the love and beauty of your current relationships: do not underestimate the power of communicating (Gemini) your love, appreciation and gratitude (Venus) for all that your partners bring to your life. Never take the other for granted. Don’t assume the other can “read” your mind even if they proclaim to be psychic. Communication is key under this heavy Gemini transit. Engage in plenty of writing, journaling and dialogues with self before launching into any kind of tirades of projection against others. Go beyond the “surface of appearances” now as they are apt to be misleading. Know your own value instead of looking to others to prove it to you. Own your own weaknesses and insecurities instead of projecting them onto the other. Think with your head, but feel with your heart and remember that both are necessary in relationship. Get clear about why you choose or have chosen the relationships that have been primary in your life. What do they reflect about your value system? Where do you need to make higher choices? Where do you need more discrimination in your choice of relationships? How could you give more instead of focusing on what’s lacking?
“The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one’s relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident.” — Hugh Walpole