Poor little Britney Spears. Her slow spiral downward sped up last fall, when Jupiter in Sagittarius set off a period of wild expansion. Now, courtesy of Saturn, Britney has really hit bottom. The Cosmic Taskmaster, planet of karma, is touching off planets in Britney’s first house, ruling appearance and identity. Currently Saturn is sextiling her natal Saturn — forcing her to look at herself with a ginormous magnifying glass. The truth is that astrologically, this new ‘do is a good thing for Britney — she’s shedding the past and absolving herself of negative baggage.

It’s kind of ironic that’s she’s been wearing a Star of David while getting tattoos. Getting inked is actually against Jewish law, but whatever. She’s two full years away from her Saturn Return, but preparing herself in advance. There won’t be anything left to go through by the time she turns thirty. This little lost soul might just get found before by the time Saturn sextiles her Pluto sometime this summer.