The latest dispatch from the “more excuses to get drunk” department courtesy of the St. Paul Pioneer Press:

Birthday bashes: Turning 30 is turning into a big deal

We told you that the Saturn Return should culminate in a mind-numbingly excessive party to end all parties. If the last half of your twenties have sucked, why not celebrate your arrival at the threshold? We salute you.

And don’t forget, our book makes an excellent party favor.